Niko upperhill nimeitisha uber niende home. The uber driver says “coming”, and I wait. He arrives in 4 minutes, asks “Tunaenda wapi?” I say kahawa sugar.
“Kaai, sikuwa nataka kuenda huko”. He cries. But nimeingia kwa gari, na yeye hangeuliza mahali naenda before akuje. Tunaenda kahawa sugar, or kahawa maziwa wherever. He doesn’t have an option.
My driver is 60 something years old, that means road experience. So I get glued to my phone, opens WhatsApp and scrolls down through hundreds of unreplied messages. Kuna feeling of calmness msee hukuwa nayo ukibebwa na these elderly experienced drivers. For young drivers, roho inakuwaga juu, because lazima ukuwe constantly looking at the road incase the young chap loses their mind and tries dangerous overtakes…
“I thought unaenda Lavington ama kilimani, sasa unanirudisha nyuma.” The driver says. Whatever he is trying to imply, I will not apologise for wanting to go to my place, kahawa na maziwa, I have had a long day already. Kahawa sugar, sorry. But kwani mimi nakaa msee wa Lavington ama kilimani? Eheeee, now I want to know what it is with Lavington and Kilimani.
“Kwani hapo kwa app inasema naenda Lavington?” I ask.
“Hapana, lakini watu wengi wanafanya kazi hapa wanaishi hizo area.” He says.
“Maybe one day I will relocate there.” I respond.
“Huko kuna pesa, nikienda huko siwezi kosa mteja.” He says
“But usipende sana kuwa na pesa mingi kijana yangu.” he adds in a kikuyu accent. I am all alert now, ni kama ako na story 
.
A conversation ensues, he tells me that he has been driving for 30 plus years, that he once worked for Charles jojo.
He goes ahead to say that he has seen it all with rich people. Most of them are not as happy as we all think. Especially if husband and wife are both high-end senior government officials, there is no marriage there.
“Kwa sababu bibi anaona umempea watoto, hakuna kitu ingine anataka. Kwa hivyo humsaidii, anaanza madharau, hawezi kupikia. Ile kitu inawaweka pamoja ni watoto.” He says.
Adds that most men suffer silently, yet they have money. Explains why, in kilimani, you will find a man parking a rage rover outside a club, anatoa stress na pombe masaa iende ndio arudi kwa nyumba usiku wakati mamaa amelala.
“Some of them don’t even sleep in the same room, they have different rooms. Unapata mwanaume anajisomea novel pale kwa corner, bcoz hawezi watch TV, hawezi ongea na Mama, watoto ndio wanawatch TV.” He says.
“Ndio maana wanaenda kutafuta tusichana huko University, kwa sababu kwa boma hakuna mapenzi.”
“Kwa hivyo watu wasioe ama?” I ask.
“Hapana sisemi hivyo. Kijana, sijui kama umeoa, but your wife is everything when it comes to your peace of mind. Kama hujaoa, tafadhali usioe mtu ako na pesa kukuliko, stress itakumaliza haraka.” He says.
“So mimi nikienda kilimani najua kuna biashara huko, kwa sababu men use ubers to visit their university girls, they leave their vehicles ndio Mama hasishuku kama ameenda.” He adds.
As we arrive at my place, he throws the last words.
“Unaona yule mwanamke utaoa? Huyo ndio kila kitu. It doesnt matter how much money you have, furaha yako imehusika directly na huyo mwanamke”
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